I have OCD.
Real OCD. Not the kind that people talk about flippantly.
I am highly medicated and forever bothered by intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and the compulsions that follow.
Take today for example. It was ruined from the get-go.
Wednesdays are my favorite days at work because we get free breakfast. I look forward to my sausage biscuit, chocolate milk, and blueberry muffin. Today, though, there was a surprise.
Someone’s hair was in my biscuit!
Now, I saw the hair before I even picked the biscuit up, but that stupid thing has clung to me all day. I keep having flashbacks to seeing the hair and I am convinced it has somehow gotten into my mouth. I’ve been gagging and cringing all day. So much so that my muscles ache from the tension.
This may not seem like a big deal to most people (the thinking about it all day, not the hair), but thanks to these intrusive thoughts, my entire day has revolved around it. Luckily, I have some great people at work that know that distraction is one of the best things they can do to help me (because drinking 7 water bottles and eating a donut did not help).
I spent some time with the nurse chatting, in the library discussing books, and wandering around campus trying to get my mind off of it.
It may be 13 hours later, and that feeling might still be with me, but thanks to my brother, boyfriend, sister, and friends, I’m starting to feel better.
Tomorrow has to be better, right?