April 2nd. I love it.

How is it April already, friends?

First up this week, sno-balls. I love it! It’s finally sno-ball season and if you don’t know what they are, think snow cones but way better. I went to my ferrite stop yesterday, Ro-Bear’s, with Lupita, Sonia, and Diana. I actually went with the intention of getting an orange flavored one but as you can expect with so many different choices, I changed my mind 7 times while waiting in line and ended up getting sour apple. So good!

I love it.

Next up, barbecues. I love it. While hanging out with my favorite friends yesterday (see above paragraph), I noticed that they had a grill. Apparently they’d had it for a while and I was too daft to notice so this prompted the idea of having a cook out! We had burgers and corn on the cob and my favorite kind of potato chips. I even got to love on Sonia for the first time (every other time I’d seen her since she was born 2 months ago, I was sick or just staying for a minute). Family dinner nights are my favorite!

I love it.

Finally, baseball season. I love it. Baseball is officially back! Today, I’m watching the Ray and Yankees play. It’s fun to see Chris Archer, one of my favorite on the mound. I’m glad I have something to watch again!

I love it. It’s great. Everything’s great.

I love it.

life-begins-when-the-season-starts

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Day 19: A Difficult Time in My Life

Overall, I’ve had a pretty awesome life. I’ve traveled a lot, met some amazing people, lived the dream, and found somebody I love.

But it wasn’t¬†always awesome.

When I first moved away from home in 2011, I had a really hard time. I was 3000 miles away from my family, really stressed out, a nervous nelly, and afraid of what was coming.

A little background – I’ve been obsessive compulsive basically my whole life. Since 1st grade, I’ve been an absolute neat freak and worry wart. I always had to have everything clean and organized, vacuuming my room more often than I should have. I would also stay up late at night crying to my stuffed animals about how I thought the house was going to burn down. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen and it was just me overthinking everything. This kind of thing has always been a struggle for me.

Fast forward to age 21 and living alone in a strange city for the first time and it’s like my OCD went into hyperdrive. I started worrying constantly about nothing and thanks to the old man that lived next door to me and accidentally tried to key into my apartment (an honest mistake, I know) my compulsive locking got out of control. I would barricade my door at night with my dining room chair, lock the door almost 200 times before I was satisfied, and would often leave for work but then have to drive right back home to make sure I locked the door behind me.

Of course, after my time in Arizona, I was led to New Orleans. My issues didn’t subside at all, and probably got worse. I would stay up almost all night worrying about the future and coloring (it helped me calm down). At that point, I decided it was time for me to come home and work things out.

I drove back home and spent 4 months going to therapy, hanging out with my parents, and working on myself. It was a really hard decision because I didn’t want to be a useless lump, but I really needed a break. By this time, my anxiety was out of control, my sleeping pattern was seriously messed up, and I was having at least 2 panic attacks a day.

My parents were especially helpful during this hard time. They understood what was going on, did their best to help me out, and supported me. I know it was hard for them too, seeing me so unsteady. I found out later that my mom was also going to see a therapist in an attempt to help me even more. I don’t think she realized how much I appreciated all of her assistance; she would distract me when I was anxious, come lay in bed with me when she would come home from work if I were hiding, and bringing me Spidey when I needed it. My dad did a lot too, making sure that I wasn’t sitting in the house all the time and getting me out in the world so I would stop being afraid of everything.

After those 4 months at home, although I may not have been totally ready yet, I felt comfortable enough to move back to New Orleans after I took a job at Tulane. While I still struggle with anxiety and OCD, I have improved a lot (much thanks to my boyfriend, Bud).

I think I had to go through that difficult time to realize that I am stronger than I thought.

September 6th. I love it.

What started off as a terrible week actually turned out to be pretty great.

First thing up this week, getting through the first football game of the season. I love it. What was causing me a lot of heartburn earlier this week (mostly just stress and the disorganization of other people) ended up working out in the end. We got our “stuff” together and the game went off without a hitch. I was on my feet for 17 hours straight and didn’t get home until 2am, but we did it. I could have slept for days after that. You would have thought that I was the one playing football. But big events mean lots of work. Luckily, I have a week off before our next game.

I love it.

Next up, Pecan Pie M&Ms. I love it. Yes, I love pecan pie, so obviously I was going to need to try these M&Ms. I absolutely thought they were the best thing ever but I got some mixed reviews from the rest of my family. They said it tasted like coffee, but maybe I was okay with that because I also love coffee! Yum!

I love it.

Finally, spending the weekend with my family. I love it. I took advantage of this long weekend to come see my dad in Mount Airy, his new place of residence. He’s opening a restaurant down here and I was the only one in the family to never visit the home of Andy Griffith. Not only am I visiting, but my mom and sister came too! I usually only get to see them twice a year but I’ve already seen them three times! My dad showed me around the town that Mayberry was based off of, introduced me to the folks here that have already adopted him as one of their own, and taken me to Pilot Mountain to enjoy the beautiful view. The weather has been amazing and I could totally see myself living around here. I’m starting to miss Brian and Yogi so my trip back to NOLA on Tuesday will be welcome. I’ll post pictures of my trip when I get home!

I love it. It’s great. Everything’s great.

I love it.